Stuck in the Anxious-Avoidant Trap?
Break free from the push-pull and create a relationship where you both feel loved, seen, and secure.
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Does this sound familiar?
One of you always wants more — closeness, connection, intimacy.
One of you wants to talk about the relationship constantly, to work through every bump.
One of you feels ignored, lonely, and unsure where you stand.
One of you can’t relax until everything feels “right” between you.
The other feels like you’re already giving more than you have capacity for, and it’s still never enough.
The other dreads those conversations, feeling like no matter what you say, it will only lead to more conflict.
The other feels unseen for the effort you are making, frustrated that it never seems to count.
The other feels suffocated by the pressure to resolve things instantly.
Instead of arguing over who’s the problem or who’s being unreasonable…
WHAT YOU ACTUALLY NEED IS:
You can start seeing the cycle for what it is — a pattern you’ve both been pulled into, that you can learn to shift out of.
A shared language and understanding of each other’s needs and triggers, so you stop misreading each other’s intentions.
Tools to calm conflict before it spirals, so neither of you feels attacked or abandoned.
Ways to rebuild trust and connection that work for both of you — not just one partner.
Clear, healthy boundaries that protect your individuality while deepening your bond.
A joint vision for your relationship that you both feel good about.
This isn’t about one of you winning and the other losing, or fighting over who “gets their way”.
It’s about creating a relationship where you both feel safe, respected, and valued — without giving up who you are.
We created Secure Together to help couples break free from the anxious-avoidant cycle and learn how to build a secure, connected relationship that honours both partners’ needs.
INTRODUCING
Secure Together
Secure Together
It’s a step-by-step roadmap for understanding your patterns, communicating in ways that actually land, and creating a relationship that feels good for both of you — even when challenges come up.
We know firsthand how exhausting the anxious-avoidant cycle can be
When you care deeply for each other but keep getting stuck in the same push-pull, it’s easy to lose hope. The anxious partner can feel like they’re endlessly chasing connection. The avoidant partner can feel like they’re constantly under pressure, never given room to breathe.
— for both partners.
And both of you end up feeling unseen, misunderstood, and alone.
Secure Together isn’t about deciding who’s “right” or “wrong.”
It’s not a chance for one person to lecture the other.
It’s not about forcing anyone to give up their needs or personality.
You’ll each get the tools you need to:
Inside, we’ll guide you step-by-step through understanding your patterns, communicating in ways that actually land, and creating an atmosphere of safety and respect where closeness can grow naturally.
We’ve been on both sides of the anxious-avoidant dynamic. We know how quickly love can get lost amongst misunderstandings and defensiveness — and how life-changing it is when you finally break that cycle.
Secure Together will give you the practical tools, grounded strategies, and mutual understanding to make that change possible.
COURSE OVERVIEW
Module 01
Why We Get Stuck
We’ll set you up for success by showing you exactly how to approach the program and get your partner on board. You’ll learn the core patterns behind the anxious-avoidant cycle, where they come from, and why they keep showing up — so you can finally see what’s been driving the disconnect and start breaking the loop together.
What You’ll Learn
MODULE 02
Defining Values & Needs
In this module, you’ll identify your individual needs and values, learn the importance of healthy interdependence, and define the shared priorities that will help you both feel secure and respected.
MODULE 03
Nervous System 101
If you don’t know how to work with your nervous system, it’s almost impossible to stay grounded in moments of stress or conflict. You’ll learn how your body’s stress responses influence your reactions and how to calm yourself — and each other — so conversations stay productive instead of explosive.
MODULE 04
Healthy Conflict & Repair
Conflict is inevitable. Staying stuck in it isn’t. You’ll learn how to address issues without defensiveness, criticism, or withdrawal — and how to repair effectively so both of you feel heard, understood, and ready to move forward.
MODULE 05
Where You Might Clash
Some topics are trickier than others. In this module, we get honest about the “hot button” issues that can trigger anxious–avoidant dynamics — from sex and intimacy, to commitment, money, social media, jealousy, and more — and give you tools to talk about and navigate them without creating more distance.
MODULE 06
Deeper Connection
With the friction points addressed, it’s time to strengthen your bond. You’ll learn how to create meaningful moments of connection that work for both of you, and how to keep growing together so your relationship continues to feel safe, exciting, and deeply satisfying.
Learn a new way of relating, where you’ll:
Feel like you’re on the same team again
Navigate conflict with confidence
Free up time and energy to actually enjoy each other
Balance closeness and individuality
Build lasting trust and safety
No more push-pull, just a shared sense of partnership, warmth, and mutual support.
Resolve differences without attack, defensiveness, or shutdown, and repair quickly when things go wrong.
Spend more moments laughing, connecting, and living your life together instead of constantly talking about “the relationship.”
Help the anxious partner feel secure without chasing, and help the avoidant partner stay engaged without pulling away.
Know that you can weather challenges without losing each other in the process.
Join Today →
Let Secure Together guide you back to a safe, connected relationship
We start by helping you both recognise the push–pull pattern for what it is — not a sign you’re enemies or incompatible, but a cycle you’ve been pulled into. You’ll learn why it happens, how it’s been affecting you both, and begin replacing blame with understanding.
Once you can see the cycle, we focus on calming the nervous system and creating emotional safety for both partners. You’ll clarify what you each need — and what you want for yourselves and for the relationship — so you can communicate without triggering defensiveness or withdrawal, and navigate conflict without attack, avoidance, or shutdown.
With trust and safety in place, you’ll learn how to connect in ways that feel good for both partners — balancing closeness with individuality, creating shared rituals, and making space for joy, intimacy, and play again.
1. Understand the cycle and see each other clearly
2. Build safety, so real connection can grow
3. Strengthen your bond — in a way that works for both of you
select the plan that works for you:
Payment Plan
6 core video modules
Detailed workbooks & exercises
Guided practice demonstrations
Private podcast feed
best value!
One Payment
6 core video modules
Detailed workbooks & exercises
Includes full access to:
Includes full access to:
Guided practice demonstrations
Private podcast feed
6 Payments of US$88
1 Payment of US$497
Be able to communicate your needs in ways your partner can truly hear — and respond to theirs without defensiveness or withdrawal.
Understand each other’s triggers and what helps you both feel safe — and be able to offer that without losing yourself in the process.
Feel more confident navigating differences, even on tricky topics like sex, money, or commitment.
Spend less time in tension or repair, and more time actually enjoying each other’s company.
Trust that you can work through challenges together, without fear of losing the relationship or your own sense of self.
Know how to interrupt the anxious–avoidant cycle before it takes over.
Join Today →
I’m Stephanie Rigg — a certified relationship coach and host of the On Attachment podcast. Through my coaching and online courses, I’ve supported over 6,000 students to heal anxious attachment patterns, move through heartbreak, and build more secure, grounded relationships.
Learn More →
For the first time ever, I’m joined by my partner, Joel.
Joel leans more toward fearful avoidant (or disorganised) attachment patterns, and relationships haven’t always been easy for him. He’s had to face the fear, anxiety, and defence mechanisms that once kept people at a safe distance.
We still have our ups and downs, especially as we’ve navigated the transition of becoming parents.
Our relationship is far from perfect.
But through it all, we’ve built a foundation of love, trust, and respect — and we’ve learned how to keep choosing each other, even when it’s hard.
We created this course because we believe differences don’t have to mean incompatibility. That conflict and challenge can actually be invitations into growth, safety, and deeper connection. And that it’s possible for both partners to thrive as individuals while continually strengthening the bond you share.
With Secure Together, you’ll:
Stop circling the same arguments and finally break the push–pull cycle.
Replace blame and defensiveness with understanding and respect.
Learn what each of you truly needs to feel safe, valued, and connected.
Calm the moments that usually spiral into conflict, so you can stay grounded and present with each other.
Rebuild trust, not through promises alone, but through new patterns and consistent action.
Create space for both closeness and individuality — so neither of you feels smothered or shut out.
Strengthen your bond with practical tools that help you keep choosing each other, even when it’s hard.
Join Today →
This for you if:
is
You’re tired of the same arguments on repeat and want to break the cycle for good.
You both want to feel heard, respected, and understood — without one person always having to give something up.
You’re willing to look at your own patterns and learn new ways of relating.
You want to build a relationship where both closeness and individuality are valued.
You’re ready to invest in skills that will strengthen your bond long-term, not just put out fires in the moment.
It's probably for you if...
not
You’re only here to prove that your partner is “the problem.”
You’re looking for a quick fix without doing the work.
You’re not open to changing how you show up in the relationship.
You’d rather keep avoiding the hard conversations than learn how to navigate them.
You’re not interested in building a healthier dynamic together.
Find your way back to love with Secure Together
Secure Together
Learn how to break the cycle, rebuild trust, and create a relationship that feels great for you both
select the plan that works for you:
Payment Plan
6 core video modules
Detailed workbooks & exercises
Guided practice demonstrations
Private podcast feed
best value!
One Payment
6 core video modules
Detailed workbooks & exercises
Includes full access to:
Includes full access to:
Guided practice demonstrations
Private podcast feed
6 Payments of US$88
1 Payment of US$497